- To take on a Grizzly deep in the Yukon Territory with my bare hands - wearing only blundstones, mirrored aviators and a loincloth (.. medevac team, priest and/or CB reality show production crew optional); catch and release only
- Out of sheer appreciation, for the individual(s) responsible for the invention of leggings/yoga pants to receive a Nobel Prize, as well as a Lifetime Achievement Award (.. easily among the greater contributions to modern civilization, as far as i'm concerned)
- Apologies in advance for not responding right away; nature provides men with a brain and a johnson, but not adequate circulation in order for them to function even reasonably well at the same time - rendering multitasking virtually impossible ( .. along with creating the best excuse in the world :D)
- A clever and original username/bio to replace these, which frankly rank among the silliest of all time (.. i mean, ffs - SERIOUSLY)
- Finally (.. and this most importantly), my ass is a 'protected natural area,' not unlike a federal wildlife preserve.. so unless you happen to be a licensed healthcare professional with clearly defined intentions and an appointment, it's strictly forbidden territory - just saying. #asslivesmatter